EDIT: The title of this bitch is my response to someone who once asked me: If you could describe your situation or story in 6 words, no more no less, what would they be?

First, I want to say that I have never mentioned this publicly and ask for people to please respect my privacy. No, not famous or anything, but this is a very "dirty" bitch. And I mean every single word of it. The rejection part occurred less than 2 years ago. Of course, names and other minor things have been changed, but does not affect my bitch whatsoever.

"John" and I were married for several years. We had the "yours, mine and ours" in regards to kids. Marriage was doing alright. Could've been better, but we were still together and that's what mattered to me.

After several years of marriage John gets offered a once in a lifetime job overseas. The family soon follows. Everything is going "okay" until one day (3 years into our int'l life) John comes home after being gone all night (first time ever!) and says this (this is almost a direct quote).

"Jane, we need to talk. I filed for divorce about 11 days ago and nothing you say can or do will ever change my mind. I've "met" someone else with whom I'd like to pursue into getting to know better. Here's 2 plane tickets, 1 for you and 1 for your daughter to leave ** country. Oh yeah, you leave in 7 days and I'm keeping our child."

Ever have a moment to where you can almost feel your entire being leave your body and time just stops?  I cannot describe it that well, but it was something like that. My system just stopped. I mean, where the heck do I start with that little speech?

This is one of the biggest forms of rejection, IMO, and it's also on sooo many layers. Really screws with your head, let me tell ya.

I'll spare you all the dirty details (because there are MANY) and get to why my rejection rocked my world.

This mistress (for lack of a better word...you'll see why) turned out to be none other than my step-daughter's best friend. Oh yeah, did I forget to mention that "John", at that time, was 38 and "Lolita" had just turned 17? In my view, the affair began before they hooked up at a hotel one night. So technically, he began his affair when she was only 16. What sucks is that age was legal in that country and in the state to where we got married here in America. I was screwed. My attorney told me that if, for example, we had been married in say New York where the legal age is 18, then he would have most definitely gone to prison for what he did. Unfortunately we got married in a state that the legal age of consent is 16. Not a damn thing  I could do about it!

This Lolita wasn't even an adult (she's 18 now) and in my heart and in my soul, this SOB is a predator. A stalker. A child molester. You name it. And he was my husband. But let's not forget the gross fact that Lolita was also best friends with his own daughter! I mean she even had dinner over at our house half the time. Hell, on several occasions I even washed her damn laundry for her (like a Mother would do, btw.) Call me stupid and/or blind, but I had no idea. I trusted this man with my life. I kid you not. He was even very active in church before we moved. It's just when you met him, he conveyed a sense of: you can trust me. I'm an honest man. And for several years... he was.

What I'm leading up to is this: When is this country going to WAKE UP and change these laws and increase the legal age of consent??? These are our children I'm talking about! For someone like my ex-husband to be able to walk around free and do whatever the hell he wants to do is ludicrous. The sick/sad part is he truly does not feel any remorse nor does he express anything remotely resembling a conscience. He told me once that she was a "woman" and the law backs him up. WTF???

I guess this bitch is two things actually.

1. 1.  I want to change the world "bitch", and
2. 2.  This can also be categorized in the relationship section under rejection.

If you're still awake after getting this far, here's what I did to deal with this rejection on such a monumental level.

• * Hired an excellent attorney so I would be able to bring my son home to America
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• * Gathered "proof" of his cruelty (there were other things I left out) to at least build up some form of "character profile"... just in case
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• * Got the hell out of that country and came home with the kids a mere 2 weeks after divorce was final. Why stick around?
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• * Got into therapy (which I had to discontinue because I lost the medical insurance shortly after the divorce)
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• * Stay busy and do my best to move forward. I would be lying if I said everything was peachy after all this time. It is not, but time has proven to be an decent healer. Even if it's too slow sometimes.
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• * I'm doing my damndest to not become jaded towards men and people in general. So far, I'm doing quite well in that area. Although I have yet to date and I'm okay with that.
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• * I started writing my story some months back and, this might sound crazy, but it has been the best therapy I could ask for. Some family and friends have told me that I've done an excellent job with my interspection. By that I mean in figuring out where the marriage started to go wrong. It wasn't all him back then, but I take no responsibility for his actions I've described here. People are responsible for their own actions regardless of what the circumstances are.
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It was very important for me to figure out "why" this happened. "Why" would someone go to such lengths to be cruel to someone else? And to be able to look back on this and see where things went wrong. Not just concentrate on what he did in the end.

I will say I have zero tolerance for: false representation. lying, adultery, etc. I hated rape, child exploitation, pedophiles before, but after it made a personal appearance in my own life, I loathe it with a passion like you wouldn't believe. No, not angry as I type this, but can you blame me?

Things are more "black and white" to me now. During that awful time in my life, I was forced to explore my relationships with everyone in my life (family included) and had to make a few tough decisions and 'walk away' from a few people to whom I had been very close to at one point.

I swear I'm not trying to preach to anyone. For anyone reading this, please pay attention to your spouse/bf/gf/significant other. Pay attention to your relationship because you never know when you'll wake up and have your entire foundation and belief system ripped out from underneath you. I am a living example of this and there will always be a little voice (not crazy, mind you) that will ask that empty question of, "What if?". What if I had listened to his pleas years prior to work on our marriage? What if I had simply listened to John? Some people say he would've done something in this form no matter what... later on down the road. I'll never know...

And please don't ever blame yourself if someone rejects you. It takes 2 to tango (my Mother used to say). Do not be like me and take the full burden on yourself like I did in the beginning. Seek therapy. Don't be embarrassed or shy. And never, I mean never, forget to have some "me" time. I truly believe that if you don't love yourself, then how can someone else love you. And stay busy. Do NOT dwell on your situation. That will only make things worse. 

My Mother once told me after my divorce had been final for several months, "Jane, sometimes people are just assholes." LOL! In a weird and twisted way, that hit home to me and truer words have never been spoken. Go Mom.

That's my story and my bitch. Something has GOT to be done about the legal age of consent. How do we go about doing this? I really don't know. I would go as far as presenting myself personally in front of congress if I thought that would help. You guys know what I mean.