"I'm late, I'm late,...for a very important date!" So you speed through the cross walk?

So your late! So what! Why RAGE, RANT, and HUFF and PUFF? SPEED through the hustle and bustle. I am walking to work, patience as I stand at the edge of the curb (hang 10)... just watching cars speed by, people on their damn cell phones calling clients or their boss... "I'm late. I'm late..." and never to even see me, standing, waiting patiently. What if I were late, so I run out in front of your "gas guzzling two ton truck jacked up fat tires" so I can be hit, pummled, tire marks all over my hot long lean sexxy leggs? Okay, you would have stopped had I had those legs, but because I don't, you won't.

Why is this world rushing to get to work, just to sit on the computer and type a long boring report to the boss, that could have been done from home? It seems that the hustle and bustle of life is driving us mad. Sit back, relax, you are always late. Just let your customers know this ahead of time. I can see it now, you are in an interview for a $55,000/year job... "What are your strenghts?" "Well, I am always late, but don't fear. I have a very relaxed and patient ora about me. You can set the appointments for 9:00 am, and I will be there ready to go at 10:30 am sharp. And you will be very proud of my work, because I can get it done in less time than most. I will always leave work earlier than most, because I promise my family I will be home for dinner, and I'll be damned if it doesn't take me 2 and 1/2 hours to get home when it takes most people 45 minutes. This is because I will stop for people crossing the road, respect others who need to switch lanes in front of me, stop to help an ugly old lady fix her flat tire on a dirty old cadillac, and save gas by going slow. Yes, this is why I am here in this world, sharing this space with other people. Not to make sure that I get to the office on time. And if being at the office on time is your main priority in life, this job is not for me."

And, I'd be surprised if your would not get hired.

So SLOW THE FREAK DOWN!! Let me cross the road tomorrow morning without feeling I have to run in my heals. Pass along the love!